A mentor once told me, "I love Jesus, but I hate religion."  It was jarring at first, but after years of concerning observations of churches systems and their leaders, I understood.

Now, as a professional counselor, I witness first hand the harmful effects of Legalism, Purity Culture, Americanized Christianity, and Spiritual Abuse... especially as it relates to sexuality and marriage dynamics.

To fully heal, one must reconsider their beliefs, question the system that taught them and and deconstruct aspects that deviate from the pure gospel. To do so, one must separate the religious system from the gospel message.

While systems are not inherently bad and do offer many practical benefits, they also pose significant risks due to the effects of systems psychology.

I hope this three part series will help you untangle the effects of religion in your life and instead experience the freedom and joy of the pure gospel.

Defined

• Religion: a collection of activities/beliefs perceived to be of sacred value
• Gospel: the teachings of Jesus about relationship with God and others

In general, religion is a set of rules created by humans for humans about God.  Those who follow the rules are accepted by the group; those who don't are not. Forgiveness is often contingent upon compliance with the rules.

When a significant number of followers disagree about the rules, they often divide and establish a new denomination, sect or religion that embraces their differing beliefs.

The gospel (literally 'good news') states that all efforts to please God through obeying rules will never be enough to meet His standards, thus He created an alternative. 

To experience forgiveness, acceptance and intimacy with Him, one needs only to accept the free gift of Jesus Christ, sacrificed as a substitute for one's wrongdoings.

Shame

• Religion: you are defined by your behavior
• Gospel: you are defined by your creator

Shame is the underlying belief that "I am bad."  Religion proposes good behavior as the solution, selling it most frequently as doctrine or "core values."  Positive changes are superficial and short-lived.  Trying harder to act good only validates the core belief one is bad.

The gospel teaches that we are inherently good, because we are made in God's image.  While we may have bad behavior, identity is unshakable as it is granted, not earned.  God sees us as good, loves us unconditionally, and accepts us just as we are.

Because shame is a powerful motivator, religious systems frequently use it for manipulation: shame on you if you don't fit in, if you question, if you try to leave.  Shame keeps people trapped in powerless positions, making them vulnerable to abuse.

In the gospel, shame is eradicated, so it's okay to not fit in, it's okay to question, it's okay to leave the group... people are free to be their authentic selves.

Salvation

• Religion: good works
• Gospel: grace alone

Religion often portrays God as a judgmental, angry, non-relational, and distant.  To be saved from His wrath and make Him happy followers must do "good works," such as church attendance, charitable giving, dietary restrictions, piety in speech and appearance, evangelism, and winning converts.

The gospel portrays God as a loving father, eager to welcome home a wayward child, extravagantly celebrating their return.  Simultaneously, He holds a standard of perfection which only Jesus met— unattainable by humans.  To solve this conundrum, He offered salvation as a free gift of grace to all willing to accept Jesus as their savior.

Like oil and water, these two views of God simply do not mix.  Even the slightest bit of works-based salvation renders grace-based salvation moot.  Thankfully, God is not threatened by our blending the two and patiently woos us into a richer understanding of salvation by grace alone... no matter where we are in the process.

Growth

• Religion: change behavior
• Gospel: change relationship

The primary measure of growth in a religious system is behavior modification.  The more one is perceived to meet the standards, the more one is believed to be "spiritually mature."  Shortcomings must be hidden and one's true self masked, often resulting in more shame and ever increasing efforts to try harder.

The primary sign of growth in the gospel is changed relationships... first with God, then self, and finally with others.  "Spiritual maturity" manifests as the increasing ability to be vulnerable and genuine with all people.  Free from managing appearances, relationships are marked by grace, kindness and love.

Join me in two week for part two as we continue by looking at Sex, Power, and Abuse.

If you want to process the impact of religious systems in your life, then let's see if my approach of trauma-informed, gospel-centered, professional care is right for you.

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RELATED:

• Religion vs Gospel - Part 2
• Religion vs Gospel - Part 3 - COMING SOON
• Four Stages of Spiritual Growth