Odds of Personal Recovery

In Matthew 13, Jesus told a parable about a sower casting seed.  While it describes how people respond to truth, there are striking parallels to how men and women respond to the work of recovery from addiction and betrayal.

Recently, my son and I explored the math of the four soils described and I was struck by how closely it paralleled real-life observations over 18 years in recovery myself and 14 years of professional counseling.

While the odds may seem daunting, read all the way to the end to discover how you can stack the odds of personal recovery in your favor!

Givens

There were four types of soils:   

1. Path - hardened and compacted, unable to receive seed
2. Rocky - a mix of soil and rocks, able to receive seed but not support growth
3. Thorns - receptive soil able to support growth, but full of weeds that inhibit growth
4. Good -  rich, healthy soil able to receive seed and support growth to full maturity

The good soil had three sub-groups:  

1. 100x returns
2. 60x returns
3. 30x returns

Implications

• Only one in four soil types produced a crop, meaning a 75% of the seed was lost.
• The overall return on the sower's investment was 16:1.
• The fourth soil type had an average return of 63:1.
• Only 8.3% of total seed maximized returns (100x).
• That 8.3% generated more than half of all returns (52%). 

Parallels

Following intimate partner betrayal, each spouse must individually decide if and how far into their personal recovery they are wiling to go.  In many ways, their responses mirror the story:

1. Some are so resistant to personal work that they completely reject the recovery process.  (Path)
2. Some are initially open to it, but soon deem the work too challenging or time-consuming and give up early in the process.  (Rocky)
3. Some are fully committed and experience significant personal recovery, but over time growth is stifled as competing interests take priority and they never reach maturity.  (Thorns)
4. Some commit to doing whatever it takes, no matter how hard, and experience the radical transformation of third order change, eventually maturing to help others 30, 60 or 100 times over.  (Good)

Application

If we apply the odds of the parable to recovery, we get the following:

• Only 25% of individuals who attempt recovery will succeed... or SURVIVE
• Only 8.3% will reach maximum maturity (100X)... or FLOURISH
• Those who do will generate over half of the next generation of healing

While these numbers are obviously simplistic, they are surprisingly close to the first-hand data I've collected over 18 years of watching men and women attempt recovery from addiction and betrayal.

To better understand what defines those in the top 8.3%, read the following articles:

• What Is Most Helpful For Addicts In Recovery?
• What Is Most Helpful For Betrayed Partners In Recovery?

Notice that counseling with a professional specialist was identified as the most helpful for both. 

Also notice how many different forms of recovery work they engaged.  

Conclusion

Recovery is stinkin' hard and the odds are stacked against you.

Even if you survive (25%), you may not flourish (8.3%).

If there was a proven path to get you in that elite group, would you be willing to follow it?

Would you do whatever it took, no matter how hard, if it meant you could flourish?

How badly do you want to generate a harvest 100X over?

You absolutely CAN!

It takes hard work, a qualified guide and a winning game plan to get there.

While the hard work is up to you, everything else is just a few clicks away.

Stack the odds in your favor and join that top 8.3%.

 Personal Recovery Coaching

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Winning Game Plan

RELATED:

• Odds of Marriage Recovery
• What Is Betrayal Trauma?
• Is Your Recovery "Half-Baked"?
• What Is Most Helpful For Addicts In Recovery?
• What Is Most Helpful For Betrayed Partners In Recovery?
• Maestro Please! The Holistic Approach
• What makes a good counselor? Things I wish I would have known