Is "Sex Addiction" too strong a label?

Whether it's pornography, masturbation or affairs, you have to wrestle with how to name the problem. On the surface, it's easy to identify behavior that is unwanted... but what's really driving it? What's the root issue? Is it more than just observable behavior?

For most men and women at the start of the recovery journey, the label "Sex Addiction" feels too strong, jarring and even off-putting. However, with hard work, time and many layers of the onion pealed back, most come to realize that the underlying issues do, in some way have a sexual nature and thus may qualify for "Sex Addiction."

Technically Sex Addiction is defined as "any sexually-related compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one’s work environment. Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sexual addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behavior."

However, what's more important than the label is to understand the concepts of Addiction that under gird any manipulative coping mechanism.

Personally, I’m not a hard-liner on the term “Sex Addiction.”  In fact, when I first started my recovery journey in a 12-Step group, I was turned off by the fact that they FORCED me to call myself a sex addict to participate in the meeting.

Thankfully, I took the term with a grain of salt and decided to do my own investigation.  I want you to give yourself that same sense of freedom and discernment.  

What matters more than a label is the underlying psychology... that of increased tolerance and escalating behavior. Do you know what that's called?

Addiction!

Which, in simplest forms, means to use a superficial quick fix to solve an deeper more complex problem.

Affairs, porn use, flirting, shopping, exercise, money, food, gambling, religious performance... all of these can be used in addictive ways.

There's a strong likelihood that your spouse's betrayal stems from some form of addiction. So whatever, the “drug of choice” may be, I encourage you NOT to get hung up on the term “Sex Addiction,” but instead ask yourself some questions…

1. What underlying need might they be trying to medicate?
2. How deep are they into the Cycle of Addiction?
3. Are there other forms of addictive behavior I see in their life?

Below, I'm offering a FREE assessment tool that will help get you some solid answers about the appropriateness of the label "Sex Addiction" for your situation.

You can answer for yourself, or the way you believe your spouse may answer. If your spouse is willing, you could also ask them to complete it and show you the results. Either way, you'll be one step closer to knowing whether the term "Sex Addiction" is truly an appropriate label for your situation.

GO TO ASSESSMENT TOOL