In a previous post, we detailed the Six Stages in the Cycle of Addiction.  This post is a follow up that describes when, where and how to best exit the cycle and break free from the viciousness of addiction.  For the purposes of this post, the primary context is pornography and sex addiction, but the underlying psychology applies to almost any addictive behavior, including smart phones, alcohol, eating, TV, exercise, work and social media. 

In some ways, we are all addicted to something and possibly many things... just to varying degrees of severity.  I encourage you to set aside your own defense mechanisms and embrace a mindset of openness to the idea that SOMETHING in your life has become in some way an addiction... no matter how small, it's there.  

With a sense of curiosity and openness, let us now venture into How to Break the Cycle of Addiction.

To review the six stages, they are 

Stage One – Triggers
Stage Two – Fantasy
Stage Three – Ritualization
Stage Four – Acting Out
Stage Five – Avoidance
Stage Six – Despair

  

How the cycle becomes vicious:

Each time through the cycle tells the addict that they are unable to escape the tightening grip of addiction in their life, that they are out of control and that there is no hope. These feelings are so uncomfortable, that the Limbic system often kicks into gear and seeks to minimize the pain and bring some kind of pleasure instead.  It searches for the quickest fix it knows to solve the problem and begins offering up the idea of heading back to fantasy land, which you now know is stage two of the addition cycle.  

How do you get out of the cycle?

Stage one: Triggers

The first stage is the easiest time to defuse the cycle and get back into a healthy mindset. It takes strong emotional awareness and well-established healthy coping mechanisms to provide the addicted brain an alternative to moving into fantasy.  In this stage, the best strategies are to recognize the triggers, learn to avoid them and how to redirect the mind out of the normal ruts of thinking, which quickly lead to the next stage. 

Basically, it's Behavior Management through mental awareness and "taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ."  2 Corinthians 10:5  However, if this is all the further an addict goes, then there is little hope.  Instead, it's beneficial to reach out to members of support group to reconnect with true-to-life relationships, not based in fantasy.  To step into the light and TALK ABOUT triggers, rather than hide them and allow them to fester.

Stage two: Fantasy

Once a person enters this stage, the odds go down significantly, but it's a slippery slope towards the point of no return. Because this stage begins to disconnect a person from reality and insulate them from potential consequences of choices they'll face in the "real world," it becomes increasingly difficult slow down and exit the cycle.  Every moment spent in fantasy takes the Prefrontal Cortex further and further off-line, reducing hope of rational thought and long-term reasoning.  In exchange, the Limbic System that is entirely focused on seeking pleasure begins to take control of the decision-making process.

Stage three: Ritualization

By the time an addict enters the third stage, their fate is pretty much sealed.  There is only a small chance to escape the gravity well pulling them in and accelerating their pace through the cycle.  While not impossible, the effort it takes to derail the process is MUCH greater than in stages one or two.  If not derailed early in this stage, the addict is all but guaranteed a fully spin around the cycle.  They, in essence, MUST COMPLETE the six stages before they have a chance to practice exiting again.  The bubble or trance has insulated them from reality and it’s only a matter of time before they relapse. They must finish the cycle before their prefrontal cortex comes back online again and they can learn from their mistakes to modify their strategy for sobriety.

Summary

Odds of breaking the cycle are...

HIGH in Stage 1 - Triggers
LOW in Stage 2 - Fantasy
NEAR ZERO in Stage 3 - Ritualization

Each time around the cycle makes exit more difficult and increases a sense of hopelessness. As such, the cycle becomes a downward spiral. The best place to break the cycle in stage one, in response to triggers. The second best place is early in stage two before the fantasies have gone past the point of no return. To exit the cycle in stage one requires new skills of emotional and mental health to be able to handle triggers in productive ways. To be completely free of the addiction cycle requires significant time, effort and help from support groups and trained professionals.

For a more comprehensive explanation,  

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