Four Stages of Spiritual Growth

Spiritual growth is a process that takes time, effort, and coaching. One philosopher, Ken Wilber, described the process in four distinct stages.

I like his model as it parallels the MRC concept of the Three Orders of Change and aligns nicely with Peter Scazzero's principle that “It is impossible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature,” presented in his works on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.

When multiple perspectives align in this way, there is likely a valuable concept to be learned. Let's go.

Four Stages

Ken Wilber theorized that spiritual development progresses in four stages:

1. Clean Up
2. Grow Up
3. Wake Up
4. Show Up

Clean Up

The first stage focuses on externals and seldom considers internal factors.  Instruction fixates on defining and meeting moral standards of behavior, speech, dress, social roles, etc.

It boils down to behavior modification, impulse control, and ego management with the purpose of finding acceptance through compliance with community norms.

Legalism, Purity Code, and theological debates are forms of demonstrating how a person is right and others are wrong, keeping attention away from the heart and completely missing the point of the gospel.

According to Ken Wilber, Richard Rohr, and other spiritual teachers, the majority of people never make it beyond this first stage of spiritual development.

Grow Up

The second stage brings increasing psychological and emotional maturity by focusing on aspects of one's internal and complex being.  Black-and-white judgementalism transitions to non-judgmental curiosity.  Repressed parts of self are healed and integrated into a collaborative, balanced whole.

This stage is tricky since we all grow up inside bubbles of social structures, community, subculture, denomination, politics, etc.  So, while a person may mature in some ways, they are often still unaware of the unconscious beliefs governing their thinking until their bubble is broken.  

Culture shock is a good example of unconscious beliefs becoming painfully conscious as one's bubble is removed, forcing them to confront biases and assumptions.  Living abroad, moving out of state, and changing denominations can trigger this kind of shock.

Without venturing outside one's cultural norm (national, regional, political, religious, social, economic, etc.), recognizing the insulating power of the bubble becomes nearly impossible, preventing this stage of growth.

Wake Up

The third stage is a complete paradigm shift as one experiences intimacy and heart-level connection with God, discovering there is no separation; we are in God and God is in us by the Holy Spirit, and He is constantly working in and through us.  As Jesus said, we are one with the Father.

As Richard Rohr teaches, this form of awakening should be the goal of all spiritual work (prayer, worship, communion, Bible study, etc.) and that “the purpose of waking up is not perfection, but surrender, love, and union with God."

It's an entirely new way of being, free from religious performance and shame-driven behavior management, by attuning to His delight in you and how pleased He is to simply know you and be known by you.

It's beautiful intimacy and acceptance from your Heavenly Father, without the need to perform, secure in His tender embrace... no longer a Human Doing, but now a Human Being... broken and yet beloved.

Show Up

Having progressed through all three personal stages of maturation, the final stage focuses on serving others from a place of emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

It means entering into the real-life suffering and pain of others with genuine, selfless love... meeting others exactly where they are, without judgment, condemnation, or expectation... loving them as Christ loved us with concern for justice and peace beyond ourselves.

There are no self-serving ulterior motives and sacrificial care for others is genuinely altruistic.  It's driven by a desire to be with, rather than do for.

Caution

1. These stages are not checkboxes of achievement, but rather an organic process that happens naturally over time as we faithfully pursue the deeper work of emotional maturity leading to spiritual maturity.
2. While its' possible to "show up for others" during earlier stages of growth, there will likely be some degree of serving one's own self-interests under the auspice of serving others.  Leading Bible study, volunteering in a soup kitchen, going on a mission trip, joining a peaceful protest, advocating for the needy, or even creating blog posts are all acts of service that can easily be driven by selfishness.
3. Spiritual and emotional maturity are noble pursuits and reaching the fourth stage of spiritual growth is a radically life-changing transformation.  However, I doubt we will be completely free of the tendency to blend service of others with service of self... at least not this side of eternity... but it's a great target to aim for.

Conclusion

While God is faithful to provide opportunities for us to Grow Up, Wake Up and Show Up, it’s our choice whether to respond to His invitations or reject them.  For most, the real question is not how long it takes, but whether you’re on the journey at all.

Eighteen years of being on my own recovery journey from addictions have demonstrated repeatedly that the fastest way to spiritual maturity is NOT through religion but through emotional maturity, most often as a fruit of dealing with our darkest fears, addictions, and traumas.

If you're ready to take your spiritual growth to the next level, click below to inquire about spiritual coaching.

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RELATED:

• What is Third Order Change?
• Religion vs Gospel Part 1  (COMING SOON)
• Religion vs Gospel Part 2  (COMING SOON)